It's all too confusing
by life sucks then you die
Summary: I don't think I really ever loved anyone, truly. But that may ot be true..
1. Chapter 1

We were all in some club. I didn't usually go to clubs, so this was a new experience for me. It's not as great as everyone say's it is. Tom was with that girl the whole time, Travis was with random girls the whole time. I guess that other one, isn't a girlfriend? But Tom obviously has a girlfriend...Mark was mostly by me, but talking to his 'cousin.'  
  
I sipped my drink, staring at the crowd of people everywhere. I was bored. This wasn't my life style.But I had to do it. Who know's the next time i'll see them? Yeah..I should make the bets of this..  
  
I debated for minutes wether I should try to dance with mark? I had a boyfriend...I really didn't know if he had a grilfriend..  
  
'Fuck it...there's no point.' I suck at dancing anyway.  
  
Then to my surprise, mark turned to me.   
"Hey Catie, comon', let's dance. You look miserable." He smiled.  
I smiled back and nodded, we got up, and danced. I swear I could have stuck my tongue down his throat right then and there, :laughs:.  
  
About 3 hours passed, and we were finally leaving.   
'Thank god...we're leaving...'  
INstead of me sticking MY tongue down mark's throat, Tom and his 'girlfriend' did...and Mark and Some girl in the club.  
It, actually hurt...though.  
  
Everyone was drunk, except mark's cousin, and I. Mark was being a jerk, as he usually was when he was drunk.  
Tom was stumbling and rambbling on about something. Tom's girlfring -I still don't even know her name!- wasn't saying a word.  
travis was doing the same as Tom.  
  
It was, actually a bit amusing. Until Tom said something..That, well, sorta made me angry..  
  
"Catie, is that Chris dude the same ass from high school?"  
I know, I still had feelings for Chris, and even loved him, even though I 'had feelings' for Tom and Mark...  
I'll just go out with everyone! :laughs:  
"Tom, shut the fuck up..."  
Mark butted into it too.."You shouldn't be dating him..he take's advantage of girls and shit....i think.."  
Tom cracked up then.  
"I can take care of myself.." We were walking down the street now.  
"We're just trying to save you from gettin into trouble with an asshole..." Mark replied.  
I rolled my eyes, "Since when are you guys my mother?"   
I think they could tell I was gettin mad, But they didn't care..  
"What made you stay with him anyway?"  
I stoped walking and looked straight at them both.   
"Because i loved him! And I don't tihnk that's really any of your bussiness anyway!"  
I walked quickly away, to where, I didn't know.  
Now that I thought ofit, I hadn't talked to Chris is 4 days..  
I stopped at a pay phone and dialed his number.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey.."  
"Catie, hey! What's up..? You don't so sound so good..."  
I could see the group coming nearer, being very loud..  
"Oh, old friends are in town, drunk, and very annoying..."  
"What 'old friends'?'  
I sighed. "Tom, Mark, and travis."  
He laughed, "Oh...them." "What did they do anyway?"  
"They're drunk..there just saying stuff they wouldn't normally say..."  
"Like what?"  
He was determined to get this out of me wans't he?   
The group was right by me now,   
"Catie, who are you calling? It's not that bastard is it?" They all laughed.   
"Mark, shut the fuck up...go to your hotel. Your fucking piss drunk. All of you are."  
I could hear Chris, "Catie, what's happening? Do you need me to come pick you up? Catie?"  
I went back to the phone, "Oh.yeah..what? I don't think I need you to pick me up..."  
"Did Mark jsut call me a bastard?"  
I sighed, and glared at Mark.  
"No..."  
"Where are you? I'm coming to get you..what if they hurt you or something?"  
"They wont hurt me..."  
Mark spoke up, "Catie..he's not worth it. Just come with us, hang up on him, and you can stay in my room."  
Tom laughed a bit, "Break it off with him. Don't waste your life on him..."  
My jaw droped. Wait, Mark's drunk...  
I shook my head, "I'll be fine..Listen, Chris, I have to go."  
"Okay..Call me, if you need me."   
I smiled, "Okay. Love you. Bye."  
"Love you too." And I hung up.  
Mark stumbled towards me. "Catie....we just don't want you to get hurt." He put his hand on my waist..  
Tom snickered, "Yeah..that's it."   
I looked down, sighing, I moved his hand,   
"What's wrong Catie?  
"Mark, your drunk..."  
"Soooo...?"  
I shook my head, again, and began to walk away.  
mark's cousin ran towards me, "hey, just spend the night with us.."  
She said a bit quieter, "Maybe he really does like you...who knows.."  
"He's drunk.......but fine..."  
  
-Next Day-  
  
Almost everyone woke up with horrible hang overs, we were all eating breakfast.  
"ANyone remember what happened last night?" Mark asked.  
I nodded. "Yep..."  
"Care to tell me?"  
I laughed. "Well, you and Tom both tried to get me to break up with Chris, by calling him an ass, and a bastard, and telling me what's wrong with him.. Mark, you made a move on me, and you both were being complete assholes."  
Mark raised an eyebrow, "Sorry..."  
Tom replied, "Yeah..."  
"It's okay..I guess."  
  
-Later-  
  
I was sitting on a couch in the lobby, about to go home, and talking to Chris on my cell phone, which I stupidly forgot about last night..guess I was a bit drunk too...  
  
I hung up, and Mark confronted me.  
"Catie, I'm really sorry about last night..."  
"It's okay, don't worry about it."  
He looked down, I guess, he felt really bad..  
He looked back up at me, we stared into each others eyes for moments, and, what a surprise...we kissed. It lasted long.  
The elevator door clicked open, and there stood Tom and Mark's cousin. Mark's cousin giggled, but, Tom just stared, wlaking slowly towards us..  
We both broke away immediately, and looked to Tom and 'Lauren.' His cousin.  
"H-hey guys.."  
I smiled, "Hey..."  
Wait, is that counted, as cheating on Chris..?  
I don't know how Tom felt..but he didn't seem too happy..   
Me and mark both looked at each other, both surprised that had even just happened..  
Tom looked down, "how about we all go to another club...I wont drink anything this time.." He tried to smile..  
"Tom, are you okay?"  
"Y-yeah..im fine."  
Mark shrugged..."Sure..let's go."  
"Jen, Kristin, and Travis all wnated to stay back."  
-at the club-  
Tom didn't lie...he didn't drink anything..  
but I sure did.  
I must've had 7 drinks the first half hour.  
This time, I was the VERY drunk one...and the only VERY drunk one.  
We were all sitting at a table, and I turned to Tom..and almost practically jumped on him, I kissed him, roughly. And, he kissed back. I think Mark and Lauren were in a little bit of shock...:laughs;  
I sat up, and smiled at everyone, no one really smiled back..  
'I'm being a slut aren't I?'  
A waitress came by and I ordered another drink,  
mark looked at me, "No more drinks, Catie.."  
I looked back at him, and frowned. "Fine..."  
They all sighed.   
I got up and walked around the club, some dude asked me to dance of course I said, "yes," because tonight I was the drunk one who's gonna feel stupid the next day...  
I looked at the entrance, and there stood Chris, holding hands with some other girl. I stopped dancing, and stared for a minute, then I ran to the table.  
"What happened?" Tom asked me.  
"C-Chris is here...with some girl..."  
"We told you..."  
I glared at them, and walked quickly to Chris, all three followed quickly..  
"You asshole!" People turned and looked.  
Chris looked up, and frowned.   
"Catie...This is NOT what it looks like...uh.."  
"You said you fucking loved me!"  
"I do..it's just..."  
"just What?!"  
"I do love you Catie..."  
"Fuck you!" I shook my head, and ran out.  
Mark and Tom looked at Chris...  
Mark glared at him, "You always were a bastard.." he punched him..  
Tom also shook his head, "Always will be, Mark.." "I can't believe you..."  
They all walked out after me, just to find me sitting against the brick wall, tears running down my face.  
"Catie...Are you okay?"  
"No I'm not fucking okay!"  
Mark sat down next to me, "Forget him...He's not worth your tears..."  
"But...I loved him..."  
Mark looked down, "Love doesn't always work out..."  
Chris walked out, "You wanna fuckin' fight about this mark?"  
Mark looked up, "No. I want you to stay the fuck away from Catie."  
Chris laughed. "I'll do whatever the hell I want, she wont remember anything tomorrow, I can tell when she's drunk. After tonight it'll be the same routine. 'Let's go fuck, Chris. I love you Chris.'" He snickered.  
Tom replied, "You used her, for that slut in there.."  
He rolled his eyes, and laughed hysterically, "That slut in there name is Jeniffer, ring a bell, Tom?"  
Tom looked at him, a painlful look in his eyes. "Yes. It does..But I don't care..."  
He laughed again. "Sure you don't...I thought she said she loved you too?"  
Tom looked down. "I don't love her." "I love Catie."  
My jaw dropped, did I just hear that? I looked at him, and to mark, who was frowning and staring at Chris, he then looked to me. Mark stood up, and took a step towards Tom, looking as if he was going to say something..  
Chris raised an eyebrow. "That so? Well, Tom..Mark doesn't look to happy about that comment..." he laughed. "You can fight over her now..." He smirked and winked at me. I stood up and punched him, as hard as I could.   
  
Mark and Tom both ran over and restrained me.  
"Your lucky I wouldn't hit you..." He walked back inside.  
Tom looked at me. Waiting for some kind of answer I guess.   
Mark stood back, and glanced at Lauren, she half smiled.  
And then, Thank god..I passed out. 


	2. Chapter 2

I sat in my apartment, thinking about what had happened the same day, 6 years ago.   
  
I had always been depressed, moving from home to home, but Tom was always there for me. Always by my side. We began to grow apart, after being friends our whole lives. Our other friends, Mark and Travis said it would come eventually. We'd eventually grow apart... And then they began to become famous. Tom made mark come and tell me...I remember his exact words,   
"Catie.., me, Tom, and Travis..are all moving to Los Angeles .. and going on tour."  
That's the last time I ever saw him, or any of them. I think I thought after that, I had feelings for Mark.   
But probably just because he had always been the only one I'd tell things about Tom too. He wouldn't tell anyone...  
  
  
The phone rang and broke my thoughts, it was 2:30 in the afternoon, a rainy, dark day, as it was a lot in Chicago during fall. I slowly walked to the phone, in black jeans and a dark purple top.   
"...Yes...?"  
No one spoke for a moment, "C-Catie? Is it really you?"  
  
The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't name it.."Who the hell is this?"  
Someone laughed, "It is you....Catie...it's me...Tom."  
I almost fell over, and passed out. it had been 6 years, and he's calling me now?! A thousand things ran through my head, 'What do I say?-What does he want?-Is he coming to visit?-Does he want to see me?-'  
I didn't realize the time going by, "Catie? Catie! Are you there? Are you okay?"  
I looked up, "Yeah...sorry......Um,..Hey..."  
"Me, mark, and Travis are all in Chicago for a couple weeks. We wanna see you."  
I sort of sighed, but half-smiled. "Okay...'  
I had so much to tell him, so much to ask him. He didn't even really seem like talking..  
He gave me an address of where to go, we hung up.   
I put on a light jacket, still trying to place together this. Still trying to figure out what to say when I see him, what to do, how to react.  
"But, hey, I'll get to see mark.."   
I still don't know if I had true feelings for Mark...  
  
-Half Hour later-  
I arrived at the address he gave me, it was a 5-star-hotel, enormous. I raised an eyebrow,   
"And Im supposed to find him..how?" I took a breath and walked into the lobby.   
And there they stood, Tom, Mark, and Travis. And three other girls, looking quite aggravated.   
The group turned around, and Tom, Mark, and Travis all grinned. They, had grown up..So much since the last time I saw them all. But I guess I had too, by their remark.  
"Damn Catie! Look at you!" He laughed.  
I half smiled again. I hadn't thought on what to say.   
Tom walked towards me smiling, he hugged me, and to a great surprise, placed a kiss on my cheek.  
He'd never done 'that' before.  
The same thing happened with Travis, except no kiss.  
But next...Mark did the exact same as Tom.  
  
The next few hours they acted as if we'd never been parted, and I had trouble coping with that.  
Tom held hands with one of the girls, suddenly. And I didn't know what was happening...but I suddenly felt jealous..or angry...  
I smiled. "I'll be right back.."  
I walked quickly to the bathroom, and looked at myself in the mirror, not noticing someone was in there..  
"What the hell is wrong with me..?!"  
"I can't like Tom...I just...can't!"  
I splashed water on my face. "I like Tom...I can't believe myself..."  
"I have a boyfriend." "I just CANNOT like tom..."  
Someone walked out of one of the bathrooms, her face familiar.  
It was one of the 'girls' that were with tom, mark, and Travis.  
I looked up. 'Oh fuck..'  
She smiled. "I'm Mark's cousin...I wont tell anyone, I promise.." She laughed, "But I know exactly how you feel."  
I smiled, and nodded, "Thanks.."  
I walked out of the bathroom, and back to the group. We were all still sitting in the lobby, talking about our lives..  
It came to be my 'turn,' and I had to explain to them what Ive done for the past 6 years.   
But I don't think it would be great to say, 'I've thought only about you guys and cried over you all.'  
  
I explained my life, and it hit me, I'll tell them I have a boyfriend...Maybe that will make me feel better...  
"After that, I met Chris, we've been going out for 4 years."  
Mark & Tom stopped smiling after that..  
  
Some accomplishment came over me..although Im not too sure what it was. 


End file.
